Addiction can mean many things to many people, but in general, it refers to repeatedly using a substance or engaging in an activity for pleasure, even though doing so causes harm or interferes with every day life. Addiction occurs when a person compulsively engages in a behaviour such as taking drugs, gambling, drinking, gaming, sex.
If you are visiting today and have an addiction there is help available - you might like to listen to Eric Zimmer talking to Michelle Chalfant. Eric was given the choice between a 50 year gaol sentence or going to rehab. Eric shares his powerful recovery story, what finally helped him create lasting change, and why the smallest daily choices often matter more than the big breakthrough moments we tend to chase.
Even when bad side effects kick in and people feel like they are losing control, people who have addictions usually can't stop doing the thing they're addicted to without help and support.
Physical Addiction
Physical addiction occurs when your body becomes dependent on a particular substance. It also means that you've developed a tolerance for the substance, so you have to take more to feel the effects.
Psychological Addiction
Psychological Addiction happens when your craving for a substance or behaviour comes from an emotional or psychological desire.
You may already know that your brain is so powerful, that you may find yourself suffering symptoms of withdrawal that it will produce physical symptoms like those of physical withdrawal. Psychological addictions include exercise, internet, overeating, sex, gambling, gaming and shopping.
What causes Addiction?
Dr Gabor Mate says that underlying any addiction, is pain. A hurt is at the centre of all addictive behaviours. It is present in the gambler, the Internet addict, the compulsive shopper and the workaholic. The wound may not be as deep and the ache not as excruciating, and it may even be entirely hidden, but it's there.
The Hidden Wounds Behind Addiction
"Addiction isn’t just about substances like alcohol or drugs. Many destructive addictions fly under the radar, workaholism, perfectionism, codependency, social media, even chronic caretaking or people-pleasing."
"As a psychiatrist who has walked alongside many on their healing journey, I’ve come to believe one thing: we’re all addicted to something. No one is immune."
"Addiction isn’t about the thing itself. It’s about the role it plays in our lives. Beneath every addiction is an attempt to soothe pain, numb discomfort, or feel a sense of connection we’re missing."
The Root of Addiction
"We’re often taught that addiction is a brain disease caused by faulty wiring or chemical imbalances. While biology plays a role, this view overlooks the human story behind addiction."
"The common thread I see in my patients, and in myself, is that addiction often begins with unmet emotional needs in childhood. It is a creative survival strategy. While some grow up with overt trauma, many develop addictions from chronic emotional disconnection. We are wired for connection, attunement, and safety. When those needs aren’t met, we adapt to survive."
"Sometimes that means becoming invisible to avoid conflict. Or, overachieving to earn love. It could mean self-medicating with substances, food, relationships, money, or constant activity to quiet the ache of loneliness or inadequacy."
"These patterns offer temporary relief but create long-term consequences, secrecy, denial, and relational disconnection. Over time, coping behaviours become compulsions, and what began as a substitute for connection becomes an addiction."
"Addiction thrives in disconnection from ourselves, from others, and from God. Healing requires the opposite: honest connection, healthy relationships, and learning to sit with discomfort without running from it."
- Dr Ladan Goble.
Reaching out for help is how courage shows up in real life. We can't change yesterday, but we can start today to take small steps. More information and videos on recovery can be found on my blog.
