"Our lives revolve around relationships - with ourselves, others, and everything we encounter in the world around us. The more you act in line with your values, the better will be the quality of those relationships and therefore the more enjoyable and rewarding your life will be." Dr Russ Harris (The Happiness Trap)
What are values?
Values are the things we hold close to our hearts — the principles that guide how we live, how we treat others, and how we make decisions. They reflect what matters most to us and shape the direction of our lives.
Many of us move through life without ever pausing to consider our values. But when you take the time to explore them, you begin to understand yourself on a much deeper level. You start to recognise what motivates you, what brings you joy, and why certain situations feel right — or uncomfortable.
Living in alignment with your values often brings a sense of clarity and fulfilment. There is a feeling of “rightness” when your actions reflect what truly matters to you.
Becoming aware of your values can also help explain your emotional responses. Why do some experiences leave you feeling content and energised, while others create frustration or unease? Often, it comes down to whether your values are being honoured in those moments.
Values in Relationships
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy practitioner Russ Harris suggests that in relationships, it can be helpful to focus on three core values:
Before interacting with someone, you might pause for a moment and gently ask yourself: Which of these values do I want to bring into this interaction? Then, allow that intention to guide how you listen, speak, and respond.
Over time, this simple practice can create more meaningful and positive connections.
A Simple Daily Practice
You might like to try this:
At the end of the day, take a few moments to reflect. Journalling can be a helpful way to explore what you noticed — what felt different, what felt meaningful, and what you might want to carry forward.
Exploring Values as a Family
This can also be a meaningful activity to share with your family.
Choose a value together at the beginning of the day, and encourage everyone to notice how it shows up. Then, at dinner time, create space for a gentle conversation:
These small conversations can help build awareness, connection, and shared understanding.
You are welcome to save and print the value cards below. You might like to use them for your own reflection or as part of a family activity. There is also a blank card so you can add a value that feels important to you.
